During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Eddie] Man, they didn't even know who we were. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? Bye! Steve Urkel: [singing] Fishing on Lake Wannamuk. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Eddo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. Maybe a better word is Loud. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Would you like that? It's a "non-date". "Tomorrow, Dad!" Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. So, is it all right with you? I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. If you cut me, do I not cough? Clarence has under control. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. She actually said, "Human Being". Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Carl's first word was Donut. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". A mouse to cheese! Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. Harriette: Soon, baby. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . What's for dinner, milk and cookies? [He leaves the house]. He's gonna drive us tonight. Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura doesn't want a date with me. Steve Urkel: Of course. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? Steve Urkel: Because, I love you love you love you! I'm in big trouble! [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. And I like the Red Sox. CNN Actor Jaleel White is joining the growing list of celebrities who have launched a cannabis brand. Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. It meant a lot to me. I'm drawn to you. And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Their own version of the 3 R's? Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Can you imagine that? Steve Urkel: Well, I didn't have one. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Cop: It's also against the law. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. We are properly trained. Steve Urkel: King me. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Steve Urkel: I've taken a vow of chastity. Wha? The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? This isn't my grandmother. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. Why are you guys dressed like that? Get down from there! Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. I can't live like this. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, how true, how true! Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. And we practiced for six minutes! Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. [the car breaks down. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. You're making me blush. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. How about the next round we switch colors? I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! He breaks something a beaker along the way]. And it's all my fault. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. When the door opens Carl appears dessed up as Steve normally dresses with his glasses]. Well, name a couple. Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. That's all. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Anywhere away from my Laura. No more chimes. If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! The valet gave me a tip. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. [laughs]. Eddie borrowed money from me. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. I'm going to give you an 'A'. Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? Oh, the room is spinning. Just blacked out for a second there! Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. I'll teach that. Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Eddie Winslow, front and center! Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Steve Urkel: Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds fifteen seconds sixteen seconds. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? How much do I owe you for parking? Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Lt.Murtaugh: Do you know that woman Winslow? Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? I can almost see what you had for lunch! Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. I won't be able to take you to the prom. I love my Army. [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. Anybody have more punch? I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. You know that? All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. I'm cooking breakfast. Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [shocked] And he brought hooters! Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Pull your gun right now. I love you more than life itself. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Laura: Sure, Steve. You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. I was kickin' butt. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. I can turn you down without destroying your ego. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Come here. Do these guys have game? Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? I realize the reason you don't love me is because I'm weak. It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. Steve Urkel: Could. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. It's not fair. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any important paper work. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Carl Otis Winslow: Well yeah. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want. Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, but only for one month. Waldo Faldo from Illinois. And I don't get many calls! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Laura: Just let me fall! You're taking me out for dinner at Chez Josephine's. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh, no buts! Weasel: Yeah chill. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Let's keep this one! But, I'd be willing to pay you. Look, Steve. Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Whoo! [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul. Harriette Winslow: Mr. Niedermeyer, the only thing that's gonna go by is you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! Laura: Well, Steve, I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. The wind has chapped my lips. Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [told he can't go to the party] You mean I was nice for nothing? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. And we practiced for six minutes! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cornelius Eugene Urkel, you have better find a good excuse to leave town soon. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. How did you know? Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. I wanna read it to my mom. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? I'm in this class. When are you going to the store? Waldo: [pause] Wow! Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. I can't breathe! Laura: Steve, I can't talk now. 6. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes, Harriette! During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". 1. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Who? I don't know what to say. Eddo. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! What are you? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Edward, sure I got a moment. no. Suppose I made it happen. Harriette: What for? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. I met Raoul. You're setting a bad example for the kids. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! I wish I'd never done it. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. You can do it! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it really bugs me that Steve is the only guy with enough guts to stand up to Willie. Laura: Doth thou love me? Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. [to self] WOW! What are you doing with these bells? Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! I got a nosebleed at birth. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. [Grabs and kisses her. Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard!
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